Information & Resources

Stalking Awareness

YWCA Enid is dedicated to helping survivors of stalking. Here, you'll find essential information on what is stalking, what to do if you have been stalked, and digital protection. Let's work together to raise awareness, provide resources, and foster a community committed to building healthy relationships!

What is Stalking↘

Stalking is a pattern of unwanted and repeated attention, harassment, or intimidation towards a person, causing them fear, distress, or concern for their safety.

Unlike other crimes that involve a single incident, stalking is a pattern of behavior. It is often made up of individual acts that could, by themselves, seem harmless or noncriminal, but when taken in the context of a stalking situation, could constitute criminal acts. Stalking is serious, often violent, and can escalate over time.

Examples of sexual assault include:

  • Unwanted communications using telephone calls, emails, text messages, posts on social networking sites, and letters

  • Digital monitoring by creating phony/fake accounts to follow you or your friends accounts.

  • Hacking into your account or digital tracking via your phone or other tracking chips

  • Trespassing or breaking into your car/house, damage property

  • Sending unwanted gifts or items that cause fear or appear threatening

  • Loitering near, or driving past your home or work, showing up/approaching victim or their family/friends

  • Following, monitoring, surveillance, knowing or asking your location

  • Threats, or violent behaviors towards victim or their family/friends

  • Spreading/posting information or rumors about you

  • Repeatedly asking about you through third parties

  • Rejected Stalker: In the aftermath of a broken relationship, the rejected stalker may target former intimates or close associates, driven by a desire to either reconcile or seek revenge. Their behavior can oscillate between longing for reconciliation and seeking retribution, often serving as a means to maintain a sense of closeness or boost their damaged self-esteem.

    Resentful Stalker: Resentful stalking stems from feelings of mistreatment or injustice, often targeting strangers or acquaintances perceived as oppressors. Driven by a desire for revenge, the resentful stalker derives a sense of power from inducing fear in their victims, often justifying their actions as a form of retaliation against perceived oppression.

    Intimacy Seeking Stalker: Driven by loneliness and a longing for connection, the intimacy seeking stalker targets strangers or acquaintances, often fueled by delusional beliefs about a preexisting relationship. Their initial motivation is to establish intimacy, finding gratification in the belief of being emotionally linked to the victim.

    Incompetent Suitor: The incompetent suitor pursues strangers or acquaintances in search of short-term relationships, driven by loneliness or lust rather than genuine affection. Their persistence may stem from a lack of awareness or concern for the distress of their victims, sometimes attributed to cognitive limitations or social ineptitude.

    Rejected Stalker:

    In the aftermath of a broken relationship, the rejected stalker may target former intimates or close associates, driven by a desire to either reconcile or seek revenge. Their behavior can oscillate between longing for reconciliation and seeking retribution, often serving as a means to maintain a sense of closeness or boost their damaged self-esteem.

    Resentful Stalker:

    Resentful stalking stems from feelings of mistreatment or injustice, often targeting strangers or acquaintances perceived as oppressors. Driven by a desire for revenge, the resentful stalker derives a sense of power from inducing fear in their victims, often justifying their actions as a form of retaliation against perceived oppression.

    Intimacy Seeking Stalker:

    Driven by loneliness and a longing for connection, the intimacy seeking stalker targets strangers or acquaintances, often fueled by delusional beliefs about a preexisting relationship. Their initial motivation is to establish intimacy, finding gratification in the belief of being emotionally linked to the victim.

    Incompetent Suitor:

    The incompetent suitor pursues strangers or acquaintances in search of short-term relationships, driven by loneliness or lust rather than genuine affection. Their persistence may stem from a lack of awareness or concern for the distress of their victims, sometimes attributed to cognitive limitations or social ineptitude.

    Predatory Stalker: Arising from deviant sexual interests, the predatory stalker typically targets female strangers for sexual gratification or as potential victims of assault. Their behavior may involve voyeurism or gathering information for future assaults, driven by a desire for power and control over unsuspecting victims.

For Survivors↘

You are not to blame for the stalking behavior! No one ever "deserves" to be stalked, regardless of their actions, appearance, or prior interactions with the stalker.

What to do if you have been stalked?

Experiencing being stalked is traumatic and overwhelming, but it's important to know that there are steps you can take to seek support, ensure your safety, and regain control of your life.

  • Ensure Your Safety: If you're in immediate danger, call 911. If you're not in immediate danger, find a safe place and call YWCA Enid’s Crisis Hotline at 580-234-7644 to speak to an advocate.

  • Enhance Personal Security: Invest in personal security devices such as home security systems, motion-activated lights, and doorbell cameras to increase your safety and peace of mind. These devices can provide an added layer of protection and help deter potential stalkers from targeting you.

  • Document the Stalking Behavior: Keep detailed records of all stalking incidents, including dates, times, locations, photos and/or descriptions of the stalker's actions. Save any evidence, such as messages, emails, voicemails, or gifts, as this information may be useful if you decide to pursue legal action or seek a restraining order.

  • Alert Others: Tell trusted friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, and/or your HR department to keep an eye out for suspicious activity and so they don’t mistakenly give out information to someone pretending to be a loved one.

  • Consider Reporting to Law Enforcement: Reporting the stalking to law enforcement is a personal decision and not the right choice for everyone. You have the right to seek legal protection through restraining orders or protective orders, which can help prevent further harassment and hold the stalker accountable for their actions. Contact YWCA Enid at 580-234-7581 and speak with our Advocates about our Court Advocacy Programs.

  • Explore Counseling and Support Services: You don't have to go through this alone. YWCA Enid’s Counselors offer non-judgmental support and promote healthy coping strategies. We provide counseling for survivors of traumatic events, with licensed professional counselors available onsite to assist those in need.

  • Take Care of Yourself: Remember to prioritize self-care during this challenging time. This might include practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques, engaging in activities you enjoy, getting enough rest and nutrition, and working on returning to your usual routine.

Remember, every survivor's experience is unique, and there is no "right" way to respond to stalking. You are not alone, and you deserve support and respect as you navigate through this difficult situation. Trust your instincts, reach out for help when needed, and remember that healing is possible.

  • In explaining stalking situations, it's important to understand that fear is subjective and can be influenced by the victim's relationship with the stalker. For instance, seemingly innocuous gestures, like receiving flowers, can become terrifying if they come from an abusive ex-partner who the victim thought they had escaped. Try explaining why certain behaviors are scary.

Many stalkers employing technology to surveil, communicate with, manipulate, intimidate, and harm their targets, often aiming to undermine victims' credibility or tarnish their reputation.

Cyber Stalking/Tracking↘

As the world becomes more dependent on technology as a means of communication and recreation, computer crime has been increasing at an alarming rate. Cyberstalking, a form of online harassment or intimidation, utilizes electronic communication platforms to repeatedly stalk, monitor, and harass individuals, causing significant psychological and emotional distress, with potential escalation into offline stalking or violence. Awareness of cyberstalking signs and proactive measures to safeguard online privacy and safety are crucial for individuals facing such threats.

  • Examples of things people who cyberstalk might do:

    Sending repeated, unwanted emails, messages, or social media posts to the victim.

    Monitoring the victim's online activity, such as tracking their location through geotagging on social media posts.

    Creating fake social media profiles or impersonating the victim online to harass or spread false information.

    Hacking into the victim's accounts to gain access to personal information or private communications.

    Posting derogatory or threatening comments on the victim's social media profiles or public forums.

    Using spyware or malware to remotely access the victim's devices and monitor their activities.

    Threatening the victim or their loved ones through online channels.

    Posting or sharing intimate or compromising photos or videos of the victim without their consent, also known as "revenge porn."

    Using online platforms to intimidate, coerce, or manipulate the victim into complying with the stalker's demands.

    Cyberstalking can also involve online harassment campaigns organized by multiple individuals targeting the same victim.

  • Some signs that you are experiencing cyberstalking include someone sending you too many messages, a person sending you inappropriate messages, liking all of your old posts on social media, manipulating you into interacting with them online, or trolling you. Online impersonality, GPS tracking, threatening messages, catfishing, and doxing are also behavior associated with cyberstalking.

  • To prevent cyberstalking, prioritize online security by strengthening passwords, logging out of accounts after use, and safeguarding devices from unauthorized access. Exercise caution on public wifi and practice safe online habits, such as accepting friend requests only from known individuals and using dedicated email addresses for online activities. Additionally, maintain good digital hygiene by adjusting privacy settings on social media, using generic screen names, and being cautious with location sharing, especially on dating sites. Regularly review and remove potentially revealing content from social media accounts to minimize the risk of being targeted.

FAQs

  • STALKING VICTIMIZATION

    • An estimated 13.5 million people are stalked in a one-year period in the United States.

    • Nearly 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have experienced stalking victimization at some point in their lifetime.

    • More than half of all victims of stalking indicated that they were stalked before the age of 25, and nearly 1 in 4 were stalked before the age of 18.

    • The vast majority of stalking victims are stalked by someone they know: 40% by a current/former intimate partner, 42% by an acquaintance.

    • 69% of female and 80% of male stalking victims were threatened with physical harm.

    • People aged 18-24 experience the highest rate of stalking victimization (among adults).

    • Stalkers use many tactics, including: Making unwanted phone calls. Approaching the victim or showing up in places when the victim does not want them to. Following and watching the victim. Sending unwanted texts, photos, emails, and messages through social media. Sending unwanted gifts. Using technology to monitor, track, and/or spy on the victim.

    • Almost half of stalking victims experience at least one unwanted contact per week.

    • 11% of stalking victims have been stalked for 5 years or more.

    • More than twice as many victims are stalked with technology than without.

    IMPACT OF STALKING ON VICTIMS

    • 46% of stalking victims fear not knowing what will happen next.

    • 29% of stalking victims fear it will never stop.

    • 1 in 8 employed stalking victims lose time from work as a result of their victimization and more than half lose 5 days of work or more.

    • 1 in 7 stalking victims move as a result of their victimization.

    • Stalking victims suffer much higher rates of depression, anxiety, insomnia, and social dysfunction than people in the general population.

    STALKING OFFENDERS

    • 2 in 3 of stalkers pursue their victims at least once per week, many daily, using more than one method.

    • 78% of stalkers use more than one tactic.

    • Weapons are used to harm or threaten victims in 1 out of 5 cases.

    • Almost 1 in 3 of stalkers have stalked before.

    • Intimate partner stalkers are the most likely stalkers to approach, threaten, and harm their victims.

  • Visit the Supporting Survivors Page for information on how to offer the right support.

  • Stalking and harassment both involve unwanted and repeated behaviors that cause distress or fear in the victim, but they differ in several key aspects. Stalking typically entails a pattern of intrusive and obsessive behavior, often driven by fixation or obsession with the victim and a desire for power or control. In contrast, harassment may involve a single incident or unrelated behaviors intended to annoy or distress the victim. While stalking is often perceived as more threatening and potentially dangerous, harassment may be defined more broadly and encompass a range of behaviors.